Two weekly check ins! Did Christmas come early?
No. I just had a lot of self-important thoughts to share.
I take jukebox music very seriously. I so enjoy watching what people chose to play, and rightfully judge them for their picks. The ideal jukebox pick oscillates between a classic (say, “Uptown Girl”), and one of those songs that makes you sit up and say, “I haven’t heard this in forever,” but you’re not mad at it (example: anything by Savage Garden). In fact, you probably go home and download it, or listen to it on repeat the next day. It’s an art.
There are several songs that make me think less of people that play them on jukeboxes. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is one. As the kids say, “I just can’t,” with that. It’s not a bad song per say, and if you want to listen to it on your car ride, or in your home, then FINE. I just don’t need to be subjected to your obnoxious Mama-Mia-ing two tables over for the entire hour it seems the song goes on. “Piano Man” is another one, unless it’s towards the end of the night OR you’re pretty much the only group in the place. It’s just too long, and I say this as someone who thinks Billy Joel is an underrated national treasure. I could go on, but you don’t care, especially after I killed any credibility when I said that putting Savage Garden on the jukebox will make me respect you. So I’ll just leave you with one last one, Justin Timberlake’s newest selection, “Can’t Stop the Feeling.”
“Can’t Stop the Feeling” is not an objectively bad song. I think the first time I heard it, I may have even liked it. The problem was that I didn’t realize it was written by JT. I’m an unabashed Justin Timberlake fan. Not only did we share the same hair style in the early aughts, but I think he makes legitimately solid music. “Rock Your Body” and “Senorita” were seminal parts of my high school experience, and if I had to make a list of my favorite albums, albums I could actually listen to front to back, I’m not ashamed to say that FutureSex/LoveSounds would be included. For real. I like every song on that album. They’re like a perfect mix of making you want to have an impromptu dance party, day drink on a deck, and have sex. Ideally, you could do all three in the span of the album. “Can’t Stop the Feeling” is middle school dance music. It’s bad wedding music in the vein of “Whoop, There it Is,” and “The Electric Slide.” It’s the kind of song you dance with your grandmother to at a party, because it’s safe enough that even thought she doesn’t recognize it, she doesn’t dislike it.
That’s my problem with “Can’t Stop The Feeling.” I don’t want to dance with grandmother to Justin Timberlake.
So, I don’t necessarily hate “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” It’s bland, inoffensive, sort of catchy, yes, but I do hate that it’s a JT tune.
The silver lining to this first of first world issues, is that it made me rediscover my love of FutureSex/Love Sounds that I’d let fall to the wayside. And just at the right time. It’s a perfect warm weather album for hanging out at the pool, summer night drives, and as an addition to any deck-centric activity. Pull it back out into rotation. I don’t think you’ll regret it.
Also, “Damn Girl” needs to be more popular than it is.
This was such a timely discussion of this ever-so-important issue, because, well, see the meme associated with this post.