The Faux Bachelor Party

My friends and I frequently have the “who can we marry off” conversation, not because we necessarily want our friends to start getting hitched, but because we want a wedding we could all attend.  As far as I’m concerned, weddings have little to no negative aspects, especially if you’re  attending as a guest.  There’s the open bar, the mini reunions, the music (this was really could go either way), and the general excitement that pervades the day.  Unfortunately, most of my friends are pretty big messes and we won’t be walking down the aisle anytime soon.

We’ve actually discussed having a fake wedding, but I don’t know how we’d be able to pull that off.  However, what you are able to easily pull off is a fake bachelor/bachelorette party.

Case in point:

Last fall my brother and two buddies went to Pittsburgh.  We went out hard Friday night, went ATVing Saturday afternoon, went out hard again Saturday, and were supposed to go sky diving that Sunday afternoon (only the wind didn’t cooperate).  I remember telling a coworker about my plans and being asked who was getting married.

The same thing happened Saturday night.  We were a group of four guys not in our home city, doing several activities, and “that sounds like a bachelor party” came up a few times in conversation.  Had we told people one of us were betrothed, no one would’ve batted an eye.

Staging a pretend bachelor party is a good/easy idea for the following reasons:

• It doesn’t cost you anything:  The only thing you really need (besides travel expenses, you don’t want to do this in your home town) would be some kind of sash if you’re female, and possibly a special tee shirt if you’re a dude.  If you want to go crazy, you could all dress the same, theme your outfits, or purchase bride/groom bachelorette dare cards/shirts, but none of these are necessary.

• For those of you with a moral dilemna, it’s harmless: You’re not telling someone you have cancer.  You’re not cheating on anyone.  You’re not messing with people’s lives.  You’re simply embellishing the truth for the chance for some added attention and possibly free drinks.  People do this all the time. Case study number 1: Las Vegas.
• White lying can also be fun. Have you ever made up an alter ego when out on the town?  If not, you should get on top of this (preferably not in the city you live in..or even one you visit frequently).   My sister recently got free drinks by telling people she was a US gymnastic team discount.  My brother used to have an alter ego in college, Sebastian, who was an rich kid, and I once convinced several people at a Kings of Leon concert that I was an Australian cage figher (which still confused me as I’m pretty sure my Australian accent came by way of Boston).   Again, it’s harmless, it’s fun, and face it, your story will be more interesting than your everyday life.  Just make sure everyone in the group gets the facts straight.  Author’s note: Check out those links, Vegas endorses this kind of behavior.
• It’s an excuse to act stupider than normal: it’s a fact that you get away with more on your 21st and your bachelor party.
• Free drinks.  Because, duh.

Give this a try next time you’re out of town, bored, and need to shake things up a bit.  Bonus points if you could keep the charade going all night.  Make sure to keep your facts straight, and not let anyone see your ID.